Saturday, November 3, 2012

My True Needs

11.03.12

Happy Birthday, Leah Grace!!!

I wanted to share some blurbs from my devotions from the past few days, and just what God has been teaching me through them...

I have been going through the devotional "Jesus Calling" for quite some time now.  And no matter when I read it or if I miss a day, when I pick it up I more often than not feel like that days devotion applies directly to me.  October was a hard month for me as far as making the time I needed to to spend with God.  After having a conversation with a friend on the eve of the 31st, we came up with tangible ways to hold each other accountable to our quiet times with God.  So as I opened by devo the next morning, this was the first thing that I read, "And My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:19

My thoughts immediately went to, "You always meet our needs...always have and you will continue, O God..."

God has given us more than we need...you all know that...or do you?  In talking about this verse with my girls this week (we are going through Jesus Calling for kids :) we started to talk about the difference between wants and needs.  As I asked them to share what the difference were, they began to say things like 'since we have moved to Haiti' or 'when we are here', and then they would go on to say, we don't get bored...we don't need our toys...we just need the babies.  We talked through and processed what they were trying to get at.  And to them, they get bored at home b/c they run out of things to play with and they don't know what to do, but here they never get bored b/c there is always a baby to hold or a child to play with and "Mom, God is more about relationships than toys."  (Yes, that is a direct quote!)

I think it is so easy in the states to not be forced to acknowledge that we have needs.  We tend to think that we have access to so many opportunities, we have shelter, and we have the ability to meet our own needs; when we are sick, we go to the doctor, when we are hungry, we go to the grocery store or better yet our pantry cupboards that abound with food, when we are hurting, we turn to our spouse or our friends to care for us...there is a 'quick fix' and a solution for all of our needs back home.  We are not forced into dependence on God-I feel like we could almost be pushed towards the need to be independent.  Many of us choose it, don't get me wrong...many of us can see our needs and acknowledge that every good and perfect gift comes from above, but it is an intentional search to identify this amongst our wealth.

I was also reading about this concept in the book Crazy Love last night...it reads:
"B/c we don't usually have to depend on God for food, money to buy our next meal, or shelter, we don't feel needy.  In fact, we generally think of ourselves as fairly independent and capable.  Even if we aren't rich, we are "doing just fine"  While Chan goes onto focus on the financial piece of our needs, I was prompted to remember the verse that lead the way for me into the month of November, "And My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:19

I need God to breathe, I need him to have hope, I need him to be my Prince of Peace, I need him for joy...

I am daily faced with those "in need"...the girls often are quick to pray, "Thank you, God for our roof and our food and our blankets."  While they may not always recognize or pray for the people right outside our gates who do not have these things, I can see their eyes being opened to this reality and their attempt to identify and act on their need to be grateful.

I need God...I am not sure if I can even make a list of what else I need right now.  So, for the month of November, not only will I seek out what I am grateful for and what I am thankful for, but I am praying that God will help me to identify and make known to me my true needs.

I also want to recognize that I know that God is the giver of all good things, and that he has chosen to bless my family with MORE than our basic needs.  I think that is where the "glorious riches" of Christ cannot be defined or even put in a box.  I understand that those riches look different for so many people.  I think that my sinful heart is quick to judge the person who would say something to the effect of, "I prayed for wealth and the Lord has blessed me with this new car and money to buy these shoes and the resources to take multiple vacations a year."  To me, belief in the prosperity gospel is a VERY dangerous thing to claim on our lives, and a very dangerous place for me to evaluate as well based on the fact that we are currently living in the poorest country in the nation.  Let me just me honest, and pray that you will give me an umbrella of mercy...It is very hard for me to come to terms with the fact that our God desires for you to have a brand new Lexus or Mercedes, while one of our nannies doesn't have $118 to bury her niece who just passed away.  I am TRYING not to judge that!  Key word here is trying, all the while acknowledging my sin and struggle in this area!  But it doesn't make sense to me...I am so caught in this struggle...  

So, Lord SHOW ME what that looks like for me!  May I be concerned only in the areas that apply to me and trust that you are sovereign and you are concerned with the hearts and intentions of all of your children.  Open my eyes to the blessings you pour out on my family, and create in me a thankful heart.  You are the one true giver!!!

Chan says in his book, "We are always the recipients of His great and manifold gifts.  Not the givers.  Never the givers.  David Livingston, a missionary to Africa during the 1800s, once said during a speech to students at Cambridge University, "People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa...I never made a sacrifice.  We ought not to talk of 'sacrifice' when we remember the great sacrifice which He made who left His Father's throne on high to give Himself for us."

I couldn't agree with these words more.  Moving to Haiti has been a gift in so many ways.  As much as it appears that we were called to give up and to sacrifice, I feel like we have been given so much more!  I have encountered God in intimate and real ways I never have before, I have had my eyes opened-glimpsed the Father's heart for his children and seen the things that break the Father's heart...and my children!  I have been taught by the faith of my children.  Couple all of these things with the writings that we find in Acts 17:24-25 and I find my need for God to be solidified and completely necessary :)  Imagine that...a need that is completely necessary :)

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands.  And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, b/c he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."

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