Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose

As I was trying to process my feelings and just emotions from today, the motto from Friday Night Lights came to mind; "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose."  Rob and I really got into watching this show about a year ago, and actually watched all five seasons.  Before each game they would say this motto together before they headed out onto the field…let me try to explain why this explains so well what my heart is feeling today.

Clear Eyes…

At this moment, my eyes are actually anything but clear, due to the tears that are filling them every few minutes.  But generally speaking, I think Rob and I (and the kids) are really seeking the Lord and starting to catch HIS vision of what our time here in Haiti needs to look like.  We are seeing our roles more clearly defined, we are seeing the relationships he wants us to pour into, we are seeing the time our kids need here yet, and in some ways we are even seeing the time that we need b/c he is not done teaching us yet.  We are entering into this final stretch and season with clear eyes, aware that there may be bumps along the way and twists and turns, but none the less committed to following Him where he leads and committing to those we walk with to finish our time in Haiti well.  We see this as His plan for us and we trust it.

We also see something else so clearly--JESUS IS BETTER.  Rob attended the Verge conference at the end of March in Austin, TX and had the blessing of being able to spend time with some really great brothers.  He came back refreshed and renewed and with the mentality that above anything-any decision her could make, any protocol he could write, any amount of time or money he could give-Jesus is better.  That was one of the songs sung at the conference and just really nailed home for Rob that we must continue to live in a way that seeks to bring glory and honor and praise to Jesus above all else.  No matter the trails we face, the struggles around us, or what we did that day…we are committing to starting each day, setting our focus on Jesus, and ending each night, knowing and trusting that Jesus is better.  The lyrics don't just say though, Jesus is better…they also say, "Make my heart believe."  And that is just what the Lord is doing for us!  Bit by bit, day by day, we see different areas that the scales are removed from our eyes and our blinders are drawn back…we are seeing clearly, and in that we are glimpsing the Father's heart in sweet and precious ways.

Full Hearts…

This was the main reason that I was led to blog tonight.  I sat at the computer with a message from my precious sister-in-law flashing on my Facebook screen, and as I scrolled down came, I came across a lovely picture that my mama posted of she and my sisters…my heart has ached a lot today.  It is not easy being away on days like today and having memories fill your mind of Easters past and the egg hunts, cookie making, conversations, church services, etc that you have all taken a part of together…it is not easy having technology fail you and not allow you to connect face to face…it is not easy knowing that everything is going on without you, and all you really want to do is chat with someone on Facebook and hear and drink in every detail of what they are doing…

My egg, holding my place at the table; and my sister, wearing the earrings I gave her 

However, there were so many things that made it easier!  I woke up with such a FULL HEART this morning and so much JOY!  I got to proclaim to my sleeping children, "He is RISEN!" and awake them from their slumber with the proclamation and celebration that HE LIVES…He is alive and moving and breathing among us, and because of that we can face each day as it comes!  I got to greet the precious nannies and give meds to the sweetest faces…I got to head to the roof with our COTP family and sing, worship, pray and break bread together as the sun rose in the distance (It was beyond beautiful)…I got to help with a few egg hunts and watch my kids pair up with friends and race around the campus in search of their next clue…I hugged and chatted with a few of my favorite nannies...I saw everyone gathered in the backyard for a riveting game of croquet (Here was the FB post: "Croquet on the grass next to the incinerator at 4:30. Winner takes home a quart of applesauce. Comment to reserve a spot.")…and I ended the evening with a game of Ticket to Ride with a beautiful friend who leaves this week, with whom I cherish every minute I get to have with her right now!

My heart is FULL!  If I am going to be away from home on a day like today, there really are not many other places I would choose to be, not many other people I would choose to spend the day with.  

Can't Lose…

I have had a few conversations lately about the idea of finding our "home".  When are we going to find that place that just clicks?  That place we can put down roots and raise our kiddos and grow old together…

First of all I do kind of chuckle at the thought ;)  Not only have we already been in a lot of different places in our 13 years of marriage, but we are kind of in a season of transition and potential change.  There really is no settling down point that we can see in the immediate future.  And despite our desire that we have had in the past to enter into each calling and location with commitment and longevity at the forefront of our minds, God has seemed to have different plans.

And that is just it…God has our plans, and this world is not our home.  There is not much more to it than that!  As long as we keep our hearts within the will of God, and just continue to pray that God would not just have our best interests in mind, but more than that He would have HIS best for our lives, we can't lose!  As long as we continue to live and be an active part of God's Kingdom here on earth and seek to see it grow and flourish, yet all the while remember and realize that this world is not our home and we were created for so much more…we can't lose!  And as long as we start each day admitting our NEED for him, our LOVE for him and our desire to CHOOSE him…WE CANNOT LOSE!

**I am pretty bummed that the card reader on my Mac stopped working, so I borrowed some pictures from friends and won't have my own until tomorrow…so, I am going to share the lyrics to "Jesus is Better" with you.  It is a worship song that is by Austin Stone Worship and you should totally check it out!

Jesus Is Better

There is no other so sure and steady,

My hope is held in your hand
When castles crumble and breath is fleeting

Upon this rock I will stand
Upon this rock I will stand

Glory, glory, we have no other King
But Jesus Lord of all
Raise the anthem, our loudest praises ring
We crown Him Lord of all

Your kindly rule has shattered and broken the curse of sin's tyranny
My life is hidden 'neath Heaven's shadow,

Your crimson flood covers me
Your crimson flood covers me

Glory, glory, we have no other King
But Jesus Lord of all
Raise the anthem, our loudest praises ring
We crown Him Lord of all

In all my sorrows, Jesus is better

Make my heart believe

In every victory, Jesus is better

Make my heart believe
Than any comfort, Jesus is better

Make my heart believe

More than all riches, Jesus is better

Make my heart believe
Our souls declaring, Jesus is better

Make my heart believe
Our song eternal, Jesus is better

Make my heart believe

Glory, glory, we have no other king
But Jesus Lord of all

Glory, glory, we have no other king
But Jesus Lord of all
Raise the anthem, our loudest praises ring
We crown Him Lord of all

Glory, glory, we have no other king
But Jesus Lord of all
Raise the anthem, our loudest praises ring
We crown Him Lord of all