Birthing something new

As I was running with a friend this morning she was telling me about some dreams that she had been having lately.  Quite a few of them have had to do with pregnancy, and in a few I was the "helper" through the labor (I was really relieved to not be the one with child ;).  There were of course additional odd elements that were comical, but that will not be included here :)

One of the things that my friend said in our conversation this morning really stuck out to me.  In a recent conversation, she was told that when you have a lot of dreams about being pregnant it means that you are getting ready to birth something new.  

This resonated in my soul.  And I literally was struck…

Isn't that just what happens when God is birthing something new?  It isn't something that we have been striving for or that we have been planning and organizing, but rather just something that comes upon us, often we we stop expecting it or least anticipate it. 

I have been having thoughts of being pregnant, feelings that I experienced when I was an expectant mother and the anxiety of the unknown that often comes with a major life change.  No, I haven't been having dreams of being pregnant; however, I do feel like I am expectantly waiting, in the same way that a woman trying to become pregnant would wait, for the next thing to be bestowed upon me or revealed to me.  During that wait, I find myself fighting to remain content and present in the place that God has me...but I am daily conscious of the stirring inside of me and acutely aware of the preparations that are happening within me, and our family, that will lead to the next thing.

My role at COTP is changing and that is harder than I thought it would be, but it is good, and rich and freeing in so many ways as well.  It is giving space for the new and an opportunity to redefine old relationships as well as pursue new things as well.

Also, we are beginning to see that because of the program I have chosen for school and the clinical requirements that are a part of that (and have to be done in the States), this season of living here in Haiti now has a tentative end date.  I am a planner.  I thought I would like knowing.  But the hard and the sadness that has come with knowing we will be leaving this place that has come to be home has been more challenging than i thought it would be.

On the bright side, it has really allowed ms to focus on making the most of my time and Rob and I are hoping to hold each other accountable for remaining fully present where we are for the time being, without getting too consumed with where we will be going in the future.

We LOVE Haiti.  You should have seen OUR faces when the nannies cheered for us when we drove in the gate.  You should have watched US hug and greet all of the faces that are so near and dear to our hearts.  I wish I could SEE my heart respond to a nanny telling me, “We just don’t see you enough...”  These relationships are so precious to us.  We have NO desire to leave them...

But we TRUST...and we keep walking…hand in hand with our Saviour.  Daily asking Him what is is He has for us today and daily seeking where He would like to lead us and grow us for the future.

Birth is a BEAUTIFUL thing.  In some ways, we ALL long for it, whether we are in our child bearing years or not.  We look forward to spring every year--when the blossoms bloom again and trees, plants and animals are alive and present again.  We rejoice with friends and family when they welcome a new child into their home.  We enbrace and encourage each other when there are new adventures or beginnings and ultimately we long for the day- a longing that we were created with-when the dead will be gone, we will hurt no more and LIFE will prevail and surround us with its forever presence.  

Let us all embrace this wonderful idea of birthing something new this year!