Mwen remen yo

It is not news to anyone that I have hit a blogging wall...so much to say, not enough energy nor time to say it gracefully right now.  I decided this morning that I am going to focus on sharing the things that bless my heart in Haiti, here at COTP, for a while and I am really trusting that God will begin to bring to light as well the struggles and the heaviness in His way and in HIS timing if you are meant to see that as well.

This morning, and SO OFTEN, my heart is found happy and full because of the love I have for our nannies!  Mwen remen yo ANPIL (I LOVE them so much)!!!

Just this morning, a dear sister was at our gate to talk to Rob and he wasn't here.  Usually for most people that results in them telling me all about their problem, me saying I will let Rob know and then them finding him later and telling him all about it :)

This morning she shared something that was really heavy for her.  Something that we have been talking about in regards to her kids that is now something she was experiencing as well...It was something hard.  Something that I shouldn't be excited to talk about with her.  Something that makes me sad.  So you may ask where the joy comes from?

JOY comes from the fact that she will sit with me on my steps and trust me enough with the hard.  That she would stand there with me, a blan, and trust me enough to cry and allow her true emotions and struggles to show through.  I am not always able to provide a solution.  Actually, I am hardly even able to provide a solution.  But a hand on the shoulder...the verbalization of the fact that I know she is in a hard place...the affirmation that she is BRAVE, NOBLE, and STRONG...that is why she comes to my landing.

Because of the nature of my role, both as a nurse and as the wife of the "gwo chef" (big boss), most of my interactions with our nannies involve some type of need.  Prescriptions for their families, advice on care for their kids, they don't have enough days, they can't pay for school...the possibilities for this list are really endless.  However, after enough interactions they know, because I tell them, that I love them...and because I love them I tell them honestly, "I can't always help you.  I wish I had a huge amount of money.  I wish I had work to give you.  I wish your child was healthy and educated and fed.  I know it is hard.  And the best thing I can do is help you in praying, because Bondye konen tout bagay (God knows everything)."

They come to me now and first ask, "The nurse.  Can you help me pray?"

JOY.  TEARS.  YES!

It is heavy to hear their burdens and I continue to find my self "striving to be brave".  BUT God blesses our time and there is depth to our interactions.  Yes, I am often a means to an end.  But on days when nannies hug me and tell me they love me and return the help with a list off ways they want to help pray for my family, they become my means to an end as well.  A GLORIOUS end that is coming..."a glorious light beyond all compare.  There will be an end, to these troubles, but until that day comes.  We'll live to know you hear on the Earth." (You Never Let Go-Matt Redman)

We have seen the ways the evil one has tried to thwart us on every side.  And in return we have seen how God has commanded his angels and his people to also form a hedge of protection around us as well.

The current struggle in real and it is deep.  The pain and the suffering is thick.  But the PEACE and the JOY that the Lord brings-especially through these sisters...oh man, you guys!  It is DIVINE and for it I will be ETERNALLY grateful.

When I went to Idea Camp back in September, Jennie Allen said something that comes to my mind this morning.  She was talking about women and advised us to always have women in our lives who are outpacing us.  (Not so that we feel inferior), but rather so that we are constantly challenged and spurred on toward the goal that calls us heavenward.

I daily walk with women who are outpacing me!  They call me onward...they inspire me...they bring me JOY!  and for that, I love them!