The Wound Bed

Since being back in Haiti, I feel like I have had an aversion to blogging.  It has taken me a while to pinpoint it...I know I have written about it since being back, this aversion that is...

I think I am starting to understand it...

It isn't as if I haven't been planning and plotting out blog posts-quite the opposite actually.  I go through the day with my heart and head so full of ideas and emotions that they take up residence in my heart as blog posts-ways to process through the info.  The best way for me has always been to write it out.  

I find myself writing out the details...jotting down little thoughts or quick abbreviations of stories; it just happens to not be in public places.

The journey that I have been on, that I am discovering out family is on...it is intimate and it is new to me.  I am feeling things in the depth of my being.  Things that require me to face the chiseling that God is doing on my heart.  The chiseling that is exposing my flesh and agitating my wounds and scars.

I told a man on the plane, a complete stranger, "I can feel God at work on me.  It is as if he is chiseling away at my hard, ugly places in the same way I as a nurse would go about cleaning and debriding a wound.  It is my job to remove the debris and rough up the edges to produce healthy, red granulation tissue.  That tissue is the best for quicker more effective healing.  But the process...the process is painful and irritating to the wound and the area around it for that matter.  But the relief that soon follows...the relief that comes when the debris is gone, the breeding ground for infection is cleaned and cleared, that relief is well worth the pain and the process."

So while I want to stay connected with you; while I want to continue to covet your prayers for this journey our family is on; while I want you to continue to glimpse our lives and laugh and rejoice and cry and grieve with us...while I want that...

All I can do is paint the word pictures for you, tell the stories of the "Dailies" here in my world and keep you at a distance.  Sorry, my blog is not a diary and there won't be any sneak peeks and the down and dirty :)

But there are stories and there are GIFTS of JOY!  

The past few days have really presented some challenges.  Tough challenges that aren't battles of flesh and blood, but rather battles of the spiritual and heavenly realms.  There is reason to fear and reasons to feel anxious...but instead, we CHOOSE JOY!  

We spent the past few days painting scripture onto the walls of our house and talking about prayer and the armor of GOD.

The girls came up with the idea today for "sending out".  "Mom, every morning, before anyone leads we need to just pray together as a family.  That way we can put on the armor together and we are protected.  That way we can send each other off to work, or school, or play and know that God goes with us and before us...like the angel army song!"

That is when this mama was choking back tears...praise you, Jesus.  

During this time, Toby also ran up to me while we were talking about all of this.  "I love God, Mom.  I love God."  

Me too, Buddy...me too...

(Pictures to come soon of our newly painted walls :)